Uggs are OVAH (over)

I was sixteen. I loved boys on motorbikes and pulled my school socks up just because they were supposed to be folded over. I said: “Whatever” and rolled my eyes far too often. I drank mango Brutal Fruits and hated the taste of coffee.But perhaps worst of all, I wore Ugg boots. In fact, I had two pairs: one with the words: “Live Fast” and an embroided skull on the back and another fur-lined one with ghastly fluffy baubles hanging off the front and bobbing merrily in the wind. Vomit.

Now, at the ripe old age of nineteen I know better than those youthful scallywag days. I like boys who read books and love their mothers. I say: “how tedious” whilst gulping down strong coffee or in most cases, some cheap wine. I like to think I have changed a little. And most importantly, I haven’t touched a pair of Uggs since.

However, the same way I nod nostalgically at liquorice mice, Barbie and the 101 Dalmatian shorts I used to parade in, I am at peace with Ugg boots I used to own. They were comfortable, soft and simple. They helped me to fit in with every other teenage girl, (an activity I finally relinquished) and they kept my legs warm on the bike rides to countless movie nights. They served a purpose. But like fairy-wheels, training bras and braces, they are not forever. There is a time when they should be replaced by a driving licence, an ability to wake up at 7am on a Saturday to work and a pair of velvet ankle boots.

It seems though, that things are changing. A recent survey done in England by the Ugg parent group Deckers revealed that sales are down 30%. Originally made cool by celebs like Cameron Diaz in the late 90’s, Uggs were seen as al a mode casual wear for hangovers, that-time-of-the-month-mood swings and oh-crap-better-run-to-the-shop-and-buy-some-tonic-for-my-gin days.

But like Beenie-babies, VHS tapes and Britney Spears, Uggs have been left behind in the mad rush that is the 2000s.

Perhaps its global warming, men’s distain for them or the basic fact that they look like giant plasters which has done them in them but either way, I can’t help feeling a little sad about it. Somewhere right now, a hung-over 20-something is shuffling to the shop in toe-pinching pumps while a pregnant woman stuffs her swollen feet into a pair of nasty crocs. Bring the poor buggers back: if clogs have a place in this world then so do uggs.